When God Says No

I've prayed for many things. Mostly for safety and health. Sometimes I pray for peace and understanding. Sometimes I ask God to help me understand. I wish I could see the future, I tell Him, so I won't be so worried and concerned. And since I can't see the future, I ask for peace. Usually I find the next day a positive outlook. And for those brief moments, everything will be okay. 
On the occasions that a prayer is for something specific I find my prayer to be more like a sales pitch. I say, look here's all the logical pluses to me, this is how many will benefit, this is how this will make me a better person. But, my logic and God's logic are not the same. He sees the outcome, the future, how it will actually affect me. And when I find that what I promoted is, in truth, not on His plan for me... I can do nothing but pray for more peace and understanding.
He never denies me either of those.
It may be bold of me to talk to God so bluntly or so honestly. It may seem to be disrespectful or ungrateful. While it may seem like all of these, it is truely the opposite. Out of sincerity I ask God for guidance and help. He knows me. He knows what I mean, even if I can't find the right words to say it. That alone humbles me.

Jesus, the One who says these things are true, says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.' Amen, Come, Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus will be with all. Amen.
Revelation 22:20-21
I was thinking about death today. How will I die?
Sometimes that question scares me so fully that I retreat to the couch, lie down, and watch a movie. Totally alone. Sometimes it's a movie that makes me feel this way. It's an unexplainable feeling, but I'll try to anyway. 

I remember whem I was little and I was sitting on the edge of my mom's bed, she was putting her hair up, or looking for a head band in the bathroom. And while I was sitting there I remember feeling like that a ghost part of me drifted backwards and asked, "What am I doing here?" It was less than a second. Then I asked my mom, "Do you kno what it feels like when you're out of your body?"
"Yes. That happens to me sometimes too." she said.
And I settled back into child wonder.

That's what it feels like. Like everything around has no meaning. Like your own soul has lifted out of your body and said, "Look around." Maybe that's how we feel blessings. 
Anyway, I realized that when I'm on my death bed, or about to crash in a train, car, boat, bike, or whatever, that I'll have peace beyond all knowledge. I'll know that there is God for me, waiting. He's waiting for me to fulfill His dreams. And then, He'll take me back home. My soul will lift out of my body, one final time. 

I have that comfort. And while, I have no plans for this to happen any time soon, I know that I will feel comfort. 
And that alone brings me peace, and the feeling of being blessed. 

'Yes, I am coming soon.'

Below I share a link to the depiction of Jesus by an 8 year old.
It is entitled Prince of Peace
Each of her paintings is catorgorized by age, she is brilliant. 
I hope that you look at it, and learn more about her work.

Blessings may be right in front of us, but sometimes we have a hard time focusing on it.


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