Outfit #78: pumpkin seed

Outfit # 70-something You ever feel like God planted a big ole pumpkin seed inside you? Like a GMO from Jesus? That pumpkin seed is growing and growing, bigger than any county fair has ever seen, maybe even any state fair, shoot, it might compete nationally.

I remember telling one of my high school teachers that I felt like there was something big inside me, like I was going to do something that even I couldn’t predict and he knew exactly what I was talking about. It’s the weirdest kind of motivation because it’s vague and directionless. But it also means no matter how insecure I get, I sense this all part of a greater cause I can’t yet foresee.

Sticking to your gut (or nurturing your pumpkin seed???) takes courage and faith in yourself. Also a good heap of hard work. The worst part is I actually believe in myself. I believe I can do something even I couldn’t imagine. Which is pretty impressive considering I can bring myself to tears imagining myself giving inspirational monologues in dramatic, improbable situations.

Whether or not this feeling means that I really will make something incredible happen, I’m glad it has given me the confidence to try. Or maybe it’s more accurate to describe it as an undercurrent of unwavering belief.

I’m writing this for a future Shelby who is feeling doubtful and a little worried. I just wanna say, hey girl. Take a big breath and be thankful for every lung. You work super hard. You’re ridiculously stubborn and never do as you’re told. You are capable. Don’t stop believing in yourself. Outfit # 70-something DSC_0035 Outfit # 70-something DSC_0049 DSC_0051


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