Today my first period teacher crossed to me. She put her hand on my my back and asked, "Are you doing okay?" I wanted to say. "I was until you touched me and made me feel really uncomfortable." But instead I said, "I'm okay." I'm pretty sure she said that because I wasn't "my usual bubbly self" as everyone likes to call it, well, and because my eyes were watering from repetitive yawns.
I mean, was it with teachers and them thinking I'm depressed?
A situation like that happens a couple of times a year EVERY year.
Is it so wrong that I just want to be chill some days? Maybe I'm super tired or contemplating the world and all its wonders? IS THAT SO WRONG TEACHERS?
I'm hardly ever depressed. I just like to be quiet and chill some days...
For instance today, I kept zoning out. I was singing:
"Flick Flack,Which is a song by Band of Skulls by the way. So catchy!
I got the wit that my enemies lack!
But I know who I am,
They know who they are.
so let me be."
I was daydreaming about being a musician and really working the crowd. Getting pumped and acting crazy and watching the hundreds of people pulsating and singing along. It's that high energy, adrenaline, excitement, and feeling of losing control because you're just so into the moment of performance!
But, I'm not even in a band. I still want that energy high from just performance. It's challenging and releasing at the same time!
I also imagine my hair looking like this:
Anyway, here I am daydreaming & being unproductive.
I'm pretty sure my teachers just think I'm a depressed freak. At least I have friends...
Oh well, it's worth it.
*image is from a scene in the motion picture Across the Universe. The character is Sadie.