I'm trying to figure my life out. Which is always fun. But right now what I think I want most is to be young and adventurous and ambitious. I want to bite off more than I can chew and stay up late watching obscure movies on Netflix. I want to spend my days avoiding the heat, making memories with friends, and editing weird videos.
I feel like I've always disciplined myself or restricted myself. And I'm trying to remember why.
I think it's because I've been afraid. Of people. Of possibilities. Loss. Gain. Life, basically. So I'm making the effort to be more open.
Even now I'm worried about getting carried away and losing focus. But how am I supposed to be happy and so scared at the same time?
Have you ever had a before and after moment? Like, you have an
experience and after it everything seems a little different? That happened to me. I got press photo
access to Shaky Knees Fest. I was inches away from alt rock stars. I shared
rooms with them while they got interviewed, photographed and dug through
coolers for the coldest Dasani. I realized how easy it is to get close to
people that seem far away. In a way, it seemed too easy. Not only that, but the
entire energy of the festival was totally different from real life. No one
really cared about who I was or what I looked like or what I was there for. The
other photographers and journalists were kind and looking to get their job
done. Everyone was there for the music. They didn’t care that I dance
crazy or dress weird because everyone dances crazy and everyone was dressed
weird. I was lucky. There was no "real"
pressure for me. Sure, I have a deadline and thousands of photos to edit. (I
think I'm about halfway th…
The most recent batch of pressed flowers came out even better than I expected. Gathered from my yard and my neighbors (Sorry, Ms. Young!), these flowers gave me the best returns I've had in a while. I didn't wait long enough for my last batch to dry completely and they came out all mushy and gross. These I've had drying for a little over a month. This batch is particularly wild because you can see the veins in the petals when held up to the light and for the most part they are strong. My process for drying flowers has basically remained unchanged. I'm not looking to over complicate this hobby but a flower press would be so cool to have. They even have a press that speeds the process by using a microwave (!!!). Now I'm left to figure out what to do with my flowers. I've put them ornaments, used them for display and to create neat illustrations. Until I figure it out I've filed them away into the worn pages of Jane Eyre.