Have you ever had a before and after moment? Like, you have an experience and after it everything seems a little different?
That happened to me. I got press photo access to Shaky Knees Fest. I was inches away from alt rock stars. I shared rooms with them while they got interviewed, photographed and dug through coolers for the coldest Dasani.
I realized how easy it is to get close to people that seem far away. In a way, it seemed too easy. Not only that, but the entire energy of the festival was totally different from real life. No one really cared about who I was or what I looked like or what I was there for. The other photographers and journalists were kind and looking to get their job done. Everyone was there for the music. They didn’t care that I dance crazy or dress weird because everyone dances crazy and everyone was dressed weird.
I was lucky. There was no "real" pressure for me. Sure, I have a deadline and thousands of photos to edit. (I think I'm about halfway through…) But the professional pressure the photographers I was rubbing elbows with felt was not the same as my own.
I could have slept in and missed concerts. I could have crashed when we got back to my brothers apartment instead of taking notes on every performance. We could have been the last people in the press room instead of the first every day.
And it all just seems so easy. All it takes is a little more effort, not even that much more, to be whatever it is you want to be.
But then there was an awkward moment. Where all of this success and freedom is three hours from my home. And really it was just a short vacation to the land of opportunity. Places shouldn't limit who we want to be, but they do. (Don't they?)
I wanted to shape the place I lived into a place of growth, but right now I don't think I can do that. In the meantime, the in between time, I'll try to appreciate this small space as one of beauty and not suffocation. There is plenty to appreciate where I live. The people, the wildlife, the familiarity, the accents that are so deep you can swim through them.
And I’ll keep a tab open with upcoming concert dates, you know, just to see.